with little to nothing different to say. Life is shit, friends are shitter. Human beings, don’t get me started. My friends are merely the ones I hate the least, have no doubt, I hate you. I started to think it was just me, til I realised that’s what I’m programmed to think when I don’t want to tread the same path as you. I’ll just continue the way I’m going, til there is nothing left here but me.
Tumblr. It’s been a while. Isn’t it great to come back to a brief chronicle of past events, and realise the shit I was complaining about back then, is basically the same shit I’m complaining about now. Though I would put myself a degree happier back then.
Maybe I’ll readopt this ventilation medium. Maybe I won’t. We’ll see
Something needs to change. People need to change. I am changing.
I’m cursed with the inability to be content. It is commonly quoted that ‘variety is the spice of life’, however, in my case variety is oxygen. Without experiencing something new and different, I suffocate.
My living arrangements have their ups and downs, though at the end of the day no one should live like this. My entire job situation is a joke. I’m still grasping onto the withered hope that I’m going to progress, though my fingers seem to be slipping. It’s no wonder that I require a constant slew of stimulation. I’m not happy in my own skin, I want to break away.
Kid Cudi said it best, “I’m on the pursuit of happiness”.. And yes, I will be fine once I get it. It’s the time in between that I’m struggling to survive.
P.S. you women are not helping, you silly beautiful creatures.
I don’t understand where some people get off. It’s beyond my knowledge why people believe that they can voice such ill-informed opinions without having experienced anything in life remotely close to the subject matter in which they’re condemning so maliciously.
Fuck you, fuck the haters. Rethink your life and grow a little understanding. Either that or keep your mouth shut.
I apologise for the fact that this isn’t a blog that is directly influenced by myself, but it’s something I believe in. I may even delete this if it steps on anyone’s toes, so let me know.
But I’ve gone through many times in my life, many kinds of struggles, that other people wouldn’t understand unless they’d themselves had first hand knowledge on the situation. No one deserves the right to make blatantly rude comments about something they have no clue about, especially when all it will do is make matters worse.
If I had my way I would wire the mouths shut of all the pig headed people I’ve come across who have done this to me.. *sigh*
Tick tock tick tock, the seconds are grouping together to form minutes. Minutes pile one after the other to form hours. Time is flying past me so fast, I think it’s mainly due to the fact that I’ve had things to look forward to as of late. Something I haven’t really had in some time. Granted I’ve never gone without thrills, but it isn’t an often occurance when I have something to excite myself about. Sadly, the time spent on the situation at hand that’s given me this rareity of estatic anticipation seems to diminish in no time at all. Well, as the saying goes: time flies when you’re having fun. It’s true I suppose, the concept of time is irrelevant when you’re in such a state of ecstasy. Surely some of these descriptions may sound little rich for what I’m referring to, but to myself personally, these descriptions hold testament. Yesterday was a day I was hanging on for since mid-week, and for the sake of my possible readers I’ll leave it at this: I enjoyed every second of it.
And for now I’m enjoying some of Ice Cube’s finer work, I’m obviously clueing at his music. Not his horribly emasculating attempt at connecting with small african american children through a 2 movie nut draining, puke inducing tirade.
Fuck you family oriented Ice Cube..
..with my Tumblr. I’m sorry dear Tumblr, life has been hectic as of late. Not at all in a bad way, quite the contrary. It seems something that felt like a disaster at the time was merely a catalyst for big changes in my life.
It all started one monday morning, it was approximately 4.36am. I was driving myself to work via the freeway, as I usually did on the days I could muster the strength to go to work. I had just passed the Cockburn central area when I heard an almighty explosion from underneath my car. Smoke escaped behind me and my power steering locked up fast. In a controlled sort of panic, I hit the hazard lights and forced my car to the emergency lane. She was dead, not an ounce of life remained, after turning my key for maybe the last time and hearing naught but the death rattle of a ceased engine, it was over. Now being stuck near Cockburn central when I in fact live in Warnbro, may seem like a bit of a pickle. It was, but not nearly as bad as it could have been if I didn’t have friends that lived close by.
Of course, close by is only a term used when travelling to this house in a car. On foot, it’s quite a treck really. But I powered on, trudging in work boots and clothes, I arrive at approximately 6am. It was from this moment on that I realised that I had quite good friends, I spent a few nights at their house, being driven to work in the mornings and repaying the favour with cartons of beer. It was a wild few nights.
This couldn’t last forever as I would have overstayed my welcome. But luckily, the friday before I had discovered a mate from work lives a mere 4 houses down from me. It spun me out that I’d been working with him for many months and never seen him at his house, but I suppose it was pretty perfect timing.
Josh now takes me to work tuesdays to fridays. This has become quite beneficial to myself, not just because I have mondays off now haha, but because now I am guaranteed hours at work. Being a casual meant I could be sent home at any time and therefore missing out on some juicy benjamins. Now I can’t be sent home as our boss knows I rely on Josh for transport. Also, Josh has put in a good word for me at work and our boss is thinking about getting me in as a full timer. This would be great as I’d be entitled to sick leave and annual leave and all sorts of benefits a casual is not entitled to. To be quite honest, I’ve found myself enjoying work more and more these past two weeks. I have a great group of friends now that I can always stop and chat to, it definitely makes the day a little less taxing when you can dick around for a bit.
Anyway, I haven’t eaten nor showered yet. I’m knackered as all fuck and my mind has totally gone off this post. As you can probably tell by the rapid decline in detail and effort towards the end haha
But still, fuck ya! Laters
Yeah you got it, thinking. Never fear, I’ve come out unscathed, but I’ve made a few realisations. Well I suppose I couldn’t call them realisations when I knew these problems were there all along, but I never did anything about them. I guess I could say I’ve opened my eyes.
I’m not moving anywhere in life, I have a job sure, but it’s only that.. a job. What we all need in life is a career. Something stable, something you’re good at, something you want to do. My job is simple enough but I’ve even lost interest in that, I barely go, and on the days I want to go my shifts get cancelled. If that isn’t a sure sign from the universe that I’m wasting my time, I don’t know what is. That’s why a week or two ago I decided I will sit the STAT test. I’ve already set myself a goal to score higher than what is needed to study a psych degree.
It already feels as though I’ve made the right choice, sure it still isn’t for a while, and if all goes well I wouldn’t be starting my study until at the earliest second semester, but for once in my life I feel like this is something I want to do. I’ve had my time being a bum, I’ve had my fun doing anything and everything. It’s time I took a portion of that energy I use for liesure and put it to good use.
It’s extremely daunting to take on this path, a path I never thought I would want to take. But the truth is, if I want success then this is the only way I can achieve it. I’m not at all saying that only people that hold university degrees have reached success, I consider trade certified and business types to be extremely exceptional. It’s just not for me. As much as I fought it at a younger age, and as much as I try to keep hold of my younger years, I know that my future lies within academia. It lies within growing up. I’ve been trying to prove that I’ve grown, I try to reveal that I’m no longer a child. But I’ll never do that stuck in a dead end job ruining my spine for ten hours a day. No, proving my self worth means furthering my study. Putting myself through the discipline necessary to commit to a singular course in life. Where I’m aiming now is more than likely not where I’m going to end up, but as long as I accomplish something worthwhile through this experience then that’s all that matters.
laterz, mum’s being nosey so I gotta end it
It was an eventful night. On the surface it seemed as though the party was very low key, but the atmosphere told differently. It was a great night, booze and funnel fuelled fun. Tash was definitely a highlight, I’m going to make sure to take that girl everywhere I go.. she just seems to brighten everything up :)
In true Charlie’s house form, we started a sparring match out the back, I vaguely remember donning gloves and get clocked around the head. My jaw hurts, I lost a plug.. and I’m certain that muai thai kick dislocated my knee.
Tash left early, so I ended up clearing off with Jade, dean and Beck back to Jade’s house. I don’t remember a lot besides chewing some food that turns out was mcdonald’s, puking for the first time in about a year and remembering I left pat at charlie’s alone haha. I also woke up only wearing my boxer shorts, dazed and confused, and saw Jade’s brother sitting at the table on the computer. I’ll tell you, stealthiest dressing ever.
But yeah, I’m severely hungover so this is as good as it gets, this post sucks.. later
Yeah so I’m having yet another day off work. I woke up this morning with the intent to go, but I physically couldn’t move my arms properly without excrutiating pain. It’s not at all beneficial with a job that demands the full use of your arms *sigh*
But I saw Avatar last night finally, and though it has left me practically broke for the week, I regret nothing. It’s safe to say that James Cameron is a visionary genius. Never in my life have I found myself so immersed in something that came from the imagination of another human being. When you leave the cinema in awe, then become a little depressed that you’re back to facing the real world, you then know that this movie is truly amazing.